This isn't why we go to instant tellers →
A time to reflect. Ok, done with that? Good. Hurry up and insert your card. People are standing in line behind you. With no disrespect intended to victims of 9-11, we used this particular moment to reflect on how this is just one of many reasons to hate Wells Fargo and the idiots who run it.
Music Meltdown →
What really happened at the fiasco known as the Heroes Music Fest? Anger continues to build over the sudden cancellation this weekend, and now its organizer claims he was “taken advantage of” by mysterous, unnamed “people and companies.” Was he cashing in on 0-11 or is he a victim, too? Southern Free Press has the latest on this debacle.
What's the plastic jug for, naked lady? →
Thank you so very much for these images, Google Earth. We may never be the same.
Friends don't let friends pierce →
According to police, “body piercing has become an on-going problem” at schools in Fayette County, Ga. Right up there with wearing saggy pants, no doubt. Generally speaking, we question why law enforcement officers even have an opinion on the subject, let alone whether they have crime statistics to back up such an absurd statement. Granted, we do agree piercings should be voluntary....
Woman dies after injecting hot beef fat into face →
Memo to self: Remember not to inject hot beef fat into face.
Winning by a hair? →
For the first time in years, there’s a reason to watch the Miss Universe pageant. Apparently, Miss Colombia has been showing off some home grown — and we’re not talking about weed. Catalina Robayo, it seems, doesn’t wear panties. According to someone identified only as “a source” quoted by FOX News: “People have been pretty upset by it; there have...
Masterpieces of the Brogan Museum →
It may be gone by the time you take a look, but the illustration below appeared exactly as you see it on the WSTP-TV Channel 10 (Tampa) website, with a story titled, “Famous painting stolen by Nazis winds up in Tallahassee museum”: The article explains: Tallahassee, Florida - A museum in Tallahassee finds itself at the center of a fascinating international mystery involving a...
Mormon Debate Tricks →
Romni-Wan: These aren’t the droids you’re looking for. Stormtrooper: These aren’t the droids we’re looking for. Romni-Wan: We can go about our business. Stormtrooper: You can go about your business. Romni-Wan: Move along. Stormtrooper: Move along … move along.
A "Morning X" reunion...? →
It’s true! The greatest morning crew in Atlanta radio history — Barnes, Leslie and Jimmy of 99x — were together again this weekend. Leslie Fram, headed for a new gig, held a Labor Day weekend “Moving To Nashville” yard sale. These B, L & J bobbleheads are as close as we’re going to get — for now, at least. Maybe someday…
Vampire Discrimination →
CW’s “Vampire Diaries” is looking for “clean-cut white guys” between the ages of 35 and 40 years old. Clean-cut black guys, clean-cut Hispanics, and the rest of y’all are just S.O.L. For more information, e-mail email@example.com.
He isn’t an African American if he’s British. (This video is copyrighted by WAGA, but used here under the “fair use” doctrine for purposes of journalistic commentary.)
There can be no doubt
Profits are up at News Corp. That’s what really matters, Rupert Murdoch basically told fundraisers last week, even as a 12th person was arrested in the phone hacking and bribery scandal that has engulfed his sprawling media empire — which includes Fox News and Atlanta-based WAGA-TV. Murdoch also said, “There can be no doubt about our commitment to ethics and integrity.” ...
The good news is you won $2,000,000 at the Texaco in Murrayville, Georgia. (That’s pronounced “Mur-ville” by the way. The “ray” part is silent.) The bad news is you have to pay a whole shitload of taxes now… and you have a husband, seven children and 17 great grandchildren… oh, and the newspaper wants to take your picture with a big check. The kid on...
Sure, he has sex with child-like dolls under a... →
…but is he a good music teacher?
CDC says vampire bat kills teenager. True or... →
The Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta say a migrant worker has become the first person in the U.S. to die after bitten by a vampire bat. The case “highlights the growing importance of bats in public health,” added the CDC, urging the public to avoid contact with vampire bats and get vaccinated if possible. Of course, this is the same CDC with a web page devoted to...
St. Elmo's Fired →
Simone Moore ran unsuccessfully for the U.S. Senate, he’s a schoolteacher, and, until last Sunday, he was minister of music at the New Welcome Baptist Church in St. Elmo, Alabama. But when the pastor, Daryl Riley, told Moore his services were no longer needed, he did what almost any of us would do. He came to church with a taser. BEST MOMENT (RUNNER UP): While the minister was being...
Bad taste... →
This observation, from Kimberley Kennedy: Saw the most unfortunate juxtaposition of commercials while watching Lifetime. The first was an ad for “Soul Surfer” on DVD. (“A champion surfer loses her left arm in a terrifying shark attack, but summons the determination to make an incredible comeback in this inspirational sports drama based on an incredible true story.”) ...
In this short news report about an overnight shooting in Chicago, a very young black kid is asked, “What are you going to do when you get older?” The little boy answers, “I’m going to have me a gun!” “That is very scary indeed,” anchorman Steve Bartelstein adds a moment later, leaving viewers with disturbed by this apparent gangsta toddler. What you...
Speaking of robbery... →
Dear Rite Aid, We saw the sign in your widow about turning in people who rob your store, and we have a question: What’s with that teeny, weeny little “UP TO” before “$2500”…? Do you really think that tricking your customers into thinking a reward is larger than it is will help your P.R. in the long run?
The greatest idea for a character since Wesley... →
Miles Morales is a half-black, half-Hispanic teenager who may be gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Still, killing off Peter Parker and making Morales the new Spider-Man doesn’t strike us as the most brilliant idea ever to come out of Marvel Comics. Just sayin’.
"Glazed, please..." →
A cashier has been busted for selling another product with a hole: Herself. This is the first report of good service at Dunkin Donuts we’ve ever heard. And, we suspect, the only reason the place was busted is because the prostitution business was keeping the girl too busy. You know what happens when cops don’t get donuts fast enough! We do have questions: How did this work,...
Give us a break. Viewers of Leanne Suter’s report never even knew a thing had happened. She was barely hurt, if at all. If she’d fallen to the pavement, writhing in agony as blood squirted all over the place — well, that would have been a story worthy of this over-the-top story on KABC in LA. “There were scary moments for two members of our Eyewitness news team...
Just realized something...
Captain America slept for 70 years. He’s, like, 90… …and a virgin.
I have such a love/hate relationship with Atlanta.
From a super dope homegirl: I love it because it’s better than Lawrenceville. I hate it because it’s in fucking Georgia.
A cocoon opened tonight... →
…and Mothra was hanging upside down on the front porch. I’ve seen owls that were smaller, but there really wasn’t a damn thing the S.O.B. could do to prevent me from taking as many close-up pictures as I wanted, because its wings were still wet. When they started to move a little, I went inside and locked the door. A little while later, the bug was gone. Presumably, headed...
A day in the life of Corey Lynxx I learned something from being in the Snellville Municipal Court yesterday. Actually, instead of using the word “learned” I’ll just say that something was reenforced. The fact that many judges still believe marijuana to be the most dangerous drug known to mankind. These guys are still stuck on stupid when it comes to a harmless plant that has never killed...
The Star Spangled Banner glorifies courage and resolve. It’s about still...– — James Kirk Wall, in a column for Chicago Tribune on Thursday, July 28, 2011.
Go ahead… watch Lily Anderson sing the National Anthem at the Braves game on Friday night… and if you aren’t crying by the time it’s over, there’s just something wrong with you.
Hard news →
Planking in the WAGA-TV Fox 5 newsroom? It’s a side you don’t usually see, but, yes, that’s anchorwoman Amanda Davis. Dedicated, determined, dependable..
It's a small, small world... →
It’s really not a very far trip from here to Norway. Photo by Jacob Terrell.
If you’re fat and poor, don’t lose too much weight in Hampton, Georgia. A local ordinance making it “illegal” to wear sagging pants went into effect on Friday and is being widely applauded. However, the same citizens may not be nearly as pleased after they’re hit with millions of dollars in punitive damages. By attempting to criminalize an obnoxious teen fad, Mayor...
It's not easy being blue →
Just days after the project was announced, competition for the lead role in a live-action super hero film “Captain Planet” is heating up the movie world like global warming. On Friday, actor Billy Crudup somehow made it past security at the headquarters of Turner Broadcasting System in Atlanta — even though he was naked and blue from head to toe, except for a grass toupee...
They tried to make me go to rehab, I said, ‘No, no, no!’– — The late Amy Winehouse
Facebook posts from our friends
RASHEL: You know how when you make a mistake and then want to correct it, but correcting it would only call more attention to the mistake and probably even to the fact that you care too much about what people would think about you actually making the mistake that you would want to point it out and fix it? I'm in that moment.
SHEA: Can someone please make Betty White my grandmother?
MIMI: Interviewing babysitter candidates. Clear indications emerge on why I never went into management.
LINDA: I see a pink kayak in my future!
Same tree, different day.
I saw a fire hydrant begging a dog to pee on it.– — Lisa Sierra
Yes, it did rain. →
Today is meteorologist Paul Ossmann’s last day at 11Alive News. May we suggest a replacement? Imagine what a TV station could do with a weather girl who not only can predict rain, but actually has the power to make it rain.
The next viral thing... →
I want you to inherit my farm,” the old woman, who was about to die any...